09 March 2010

(pretend This Is unititled, 'kay?)

I'm missing my fourth day of class. There are two tests coming up before the end of the week that I need to be studying for, but my brain has turned to Teflon - nothing sticks.

The chest congestion is the worst. I can feel my lungs vibrate uncomfortably whenever I breathe (what does a "death rattle" sound like?) and the coughing it causes is tearing up my throat.

I only feel like I'm going to die. No big deal. Don't worry about me.

I thought I was getting over it and so I forced myself to go to my classes yesterday. I felt pretty good by the end of the day. The rest of the week was going to go off without a hitch.

And then this morning hit me. Think of a metaphor using brick walls, anvils, and/or bowling balls colliding with giant boulders, crashing airplanes, and/or an atom bomb.
It hit harder than that.

Darn sickness!!

What I Need: Mucinex (to get rid of this confounded chest congestion!), the Extended Edition of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and a pot of chicken noodle soup.

What I Have: Non-drowsy Nasal Decongestants, theatre versions of Fellowship of the Ring and Return of the King (no Two Towers; distressing, i know. not only that, but the first one is a widescreen version, the other is full screen. i don't even know where these DVDs came from), and orange juice concentrate thawing in my fridge.

This is the part where I come up with a witty closing line that ties everything together; something about how you can't have it all regardless of what you think you deserve (and i do feel like i deserve an awful lot, considering i feel like dying and all), and my brilliant plan to NOT fall behind in school (even though I feel like dying and i think that should earn me some kind of "free pass"), or maybe a clever pun about the title of this post (which would require a lot of thought that i don't feel like doing because I feel like dying). Well, too bad for you, buster. Nothing doing. I'll just fail school, watch Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium instead, leave the post untitled, and then die.

No big deal. Don't worry about me.

(i just heard coughing from the apartment next to us and below us. i'm not alone in my misery! maybe i should invite my neighbors over for a sick-day pity-party.)

1 comment:

  1. That's hilarious, the whole what I need and what I have bit. That's great, if only you were at my house right then. My dad is a Lord of the Rings freak and we for some reason have twenty cans of soup in the closet (I think they were on sell, if you can call it that. For some reason my family ends up spending MORE when something is on sell. Go figure.)

    Jordan

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