26 February 2012

limerick Junkie

I have a fantastic group of friends and every so often we have a Poetry Slam. They used to be Mad Hatter Poetry Slams, but then we became aware of the magic that is Steampunk (because it's fantastic) and now these events have become Steampunk Poetry Slams (and they're fantastic).
The program consists mainly of poetry, original compositions or personal favorites, ranging from humorous to solemn to bizarre. There are also other performances including music and multi-media presentations. Basically it's a night to share in creativity with friends, and it is always delightful.

Last night was no exception.

I wrote a small handful of humorous limericks about being pregnant (limericks have been my favorite since I learned about them in some obscure children's book when I was 7 years old. the spelling was different in that book and I've spent most of my life, on into my adult years, convinced that the spelling is "lymric" and not "limerick". I will spell it "limerick" because every dictionary I can lay my hands on and every internet search engine has told me this is so...but part of me is still convinced that it should be "lymric," which I find to be a much more aesthetically pleasing way to spell it. So there.)

Aaaanyway. The limericks (*coughlymricscough*), posted here for your enjoyment.

One Way Trip
(A Collection of Pregnancy Limericks)

A child we would like to rear;
The time when we'll have one draws near.
The idea seemed charming,
But it's somewhat alarming,
'Cuz there's no turning back now, I fear.

I'm excited for when I will show.
Gaining weight's scary, but I know,
In this case, it's not bad;
But I'm still a bit sad,
That I'm slim and curvy no mo'.

My husband says that I look great,
He can't tell that I've gained any weight.
But I know in my mind,
That in 9 month's time,
I'm going to be HUGE at this rate.

My appetite's out of control,
I'm so HUNGRY I feel like a troll.
Every two hours,
The kitchen I scour,
And after 2 bites, I am full.

My least favorite pregnancy curse,
Is the nausea, it is the worst.
All night and all day,
Never goes away,
With or without food, it still hurts.

I'm so sleepy all through the day,
So I nap and I lounge and I pray
That somehow I might,
Sleep through the night;
Until then, nocturnal I'll stay.

I'm sleepy most all of the time;
Constant exhaustion is unkind.
As a matter of fact,
I've not had my nap,
I'm amazed this poem even rhymes.

Someone suggested I write more of them and turn them into a book. "What to Expect When You're Expecting - In Rhyme!" I'm pretty tempted, not gonna lie. Sounds like a book I would read. And thoroughly enjoy. And recommend to friends.

(thoughtful pause)

Challenge accepted.

Disclaimer: humorous writings on the predicament of pregnancy does not qualify this as a "mommy blog" so point that finger somewhere else!

13 February 2012

been Awhile...

I just want you to know that I haven't been avoiding Blogger because of you. It's me. Well, mostly it's Reality in general and my complete inability to strike any kind of compromise with it.

But things are settling down now (settling? really? no, not really). Things are falling into a flow (check your word choice, Miss Hobbit, cuz that's not what's happening, either). Alright, nothing has changed with the "things" going on in life, what's changed is the amount of sleep I've procured in the last few weeks which has increased my ability to stare those "things" in the face and take care of them.


I found out a couple of weeks ago that I'm pregnant.

(oh congratulations we're so happy for you that must be exciting oh my goodness it's just so thrilling...)

Yeah, yeah, I know. And I appreciate it, I really do. Just give me a few weeks for the day-long bouts of nausea, the extreme exhaustion, and horrifying mood swings to go away and I'll be able to properly reciprocate your good wishes. I'm told the second trimester is much easier. We'll go out and celebrate when I get to the second trimester.

Not to mention all the horrendous paperwork this thing entails. Medicaid, Baby Your Baby, hospital visits, WIC, prenatal classes and vitamins and exercise and diet regimens... Is it any wonder I'm tired?

The last few weeks have been a weird haze of sleep and food cravings, nausea, appointments, and more sleep. And through it all, I keep hearing Graham Edge's voice in my head:

Breathe deep. The gathering gloom.
Watch lights fade from every room...

The text on the screen does not carry the same effect as when you hear the man's voice say the words. But maybe it gives you a vague idea...

This blog will not be transitioning to a "Mommy Blog" so you can keep reading (is anyone reading?) without fear of slowly losing your mind. Mommy blogs kind of make me want to slap someone in the face with a quarter staff. They would have us all convinced that becoming a "mommy" makes you a complete moron (hey, maybe that's true. maybe it does. guess I'll find out soon enough) and I just have no desire to share that kind of mental deterioration over the Internet.

So that's why I've been offline for that past...however long it's been. And now that I've updated you and fulfilled my duties as blog author, I'm going to go listen to The Moody Blues.
Still craving them. That band, man. They speak to me. Always have. Admittedly more so now that my hormones are completely off kilter...