26 July 2012

Life's more entertaining In My head

The 24th of July was Pioneer Day in good 'ol Utah. We watched the local parade in the only way parades should be watched: in our pajamas, on the couch, in the air conditioned house, on the television.

Oh yeah, baby, I got Pioneer Day spirit. Rah rah rah.

The emcees made quaint comments about the local floats and festivities, as well as letting the audience know about the other festivals going on around the state. Each city in the area has a special thang they do for summer: Strawberry Days, Rodeo Days, Pony Express Days, etc. (Not sure why everyone suffixes with "days" rather than just calling it a "festival." I've never asked. It's quite probable that no one else knows, either.)

I wasn't paying that much attention, I'll admit, but I did perk up when they mentioned the Orgy Festival coming up.


Say wha-?? I've never heard of this before!

Much to my disappointment, the emcee was actually referencing the Orchard Festival.

It figures. Our county isn't exactly a prime example of a simple little thing known as diction.

It's too bad I didn't figure it out before asking my husband if you had to register for that sort of thing or if you could just show up. It does explain the strange look he gave me, though...

20 July 2012

songs And Kids and Life

I woke up with this terrible song from the 90's stuck in my head. I don't even know the artist or the whole song, just the chorus phrase:

"Paaaasionate kisses...frooom yoooou."

Over and over and over. The worst.

So to mix it up and keep myself from going crazy, I started to sing the original lyrics (or, rather, what I originally believed to be the lyrics when I first heard the song at age five).

"Maaatches and peaches....foooor yoooou."

Imagine a precocious 5 year old, singing loudly and earnestly at the kitchen table, "Maaatches and peaches! Foooor yooou!" Can you see it? Yeah...that was me.

I remember my mom trying not to laugh as she asked me the reasoning behind matches and peaches being in a love song. It wasn't just a lack of enunciation on the part of the singer, I had also employed the power of logical reasoning to deduce what the song was about.

Matches make fire. Fire is the source of heat and light. Fire gives us life. Just look at our Sun - a giant, glorious ball of eternal fire. Matches are like miniature versions of the power of the Sun. Of course you would want to give your loved one matches.
Matches = the ultimate Life Source (you can see what a poetic old soul I was back then).

And my grandmother's canned peaches were the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted in my young life. So, you know. No brainer on that one.

Matches and peaches seemed like the most obvious love tokens anyone could give.

As daunting as the prospect of motherhood can be, I must admit that I look forward to having similar conversations with my own precocious five year old. I guess you've got to go through painful labor and delivery and long periods of postpartum recovery, sleep deprivation, and some nasty diaper changing to get to that point...*shudder*

Just gotta hope that matches and peaches will make it all worth it.

03 July 2012


The move is now complete.


...it's not that bad.

And I was going to write about it and share amusing anecdotes but now that I'm here, finally here, I realize that I'm tired.

Really, really tired.

I'd like to be able to ...shoot. Where was this sentence going? What was it I wanted to do?

Probably nap. I keep losing track of my thoughts and find myself staring mindlessly around this room. Oh no...eyes are closing...I should nap...

I did a lot yesterday. I cleaned, vacuumed, moved furniture...the risk of sending myself into preterm labor crossed my mind. So, naturally, I did a load of laundry and cleaned the washing machine and dryer (this is probably the first time those appliances have been  free of dust in 50 years) before making myself lunch and finally sitting down. Good thing I stopped. Too bad I can't get going again.

sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep

Why am I still on this [obscenity] website? How am I, after all this talk of sleep, not in bed yet??

This is not what I intended to post, but I've accomplished the ultimate goal: I've given you a synopsis of my life as of late. There's really no more to say.

I'd write on here more often but, let's be honest, you're not missing much.