I found this on Facebook and simply had to post it somewhere. It says what I have always felt about the Twilight Saga, in a much more intelligent and elegant way than I ever could have put it.
“But when a saga popular with pre-adolescent girls peaks romantically on a night that leaves the heroine to wake up covered with bruises in the shape of her husband’s hands — and when that heroine then spends the morning explaining to her husband that she’s incredibly happy even though he injured her, and that it’s not his fault because she understands he couldn’t help it in light of the depth of his passion — that’s profoundly irresponsible.”
— NPR’s Linda Holmes reviews Twilight Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1
People ask me why I don't like Twilight and I do not know where to begin. This review sums it up quite nicely, though.
We'll have to talk about this more later. Currently, I am in serious need of sleep.
23 November 2011
22 November 2011
this Is high-Quality entertainment In the World Of Customer service
I have this co-worker. She is hilarious. Witty, poignant and original. I love it. Talking with her makes the days tolerable, if not enjoyable.
She thinks I'm just bored. She doesn't think she's at all very clever or funny; that I only laugh because I'm desperately bored.
She may have a point...for eight hours a day, five days a week, I am engulfed in fluorescent lighting, gray cubicle walls, and unbearably uncomfortable customer phone calls. I can no longer judge "humor" objectively.
So I will let you be the judge. Here is an email she wrote to me one Friday afternoon when I was out of town, to warn me that she would not be there to assist me on Monday (she's still technically training me in the Scheduling Department). I've changed some names and numbers (fun fact: the phone number given as hers has been changed, at her request, to "the number for the effing public library [in Topeka, Kansas] that keeps calling me asking, 'Where is the The Green Sheep?'"). I assume this means you're free to give them a call and harass them, if you feel so inclined.
I'll refer to her as (ah jeez...quick, think of a name that's not hers...think think think...why is it so hard to pick a random name??) Kate. This email, by the way, made me laugh, and in fact was responsible for random bursts of giggling throughout that day. Certain lines still make me chuckle. Tell me what you think. And be honest. I can take it.
But let's be honest with each other - item 3 didn't strike you as being a little bit original? And item 4? How can you look me in the eye and tell me that didn't make you chuckle? Or guffaw? Or at the very least, smirk?
She thinks I'm just bored. She doesn't think she's at all very clever or funny; that I only laugh because I'm desperately bored.
She may have a point...for eight hours a day, five days a week, I am engulfed in fluorescent lighting, gray cubicle walls, and unbearably uncomfortable customer phone calls. I can no longer judge "humor" objectively.
So I will let you be the judge. Here is an email she wrote to me one Friday afternoon when I was out of town, to warn me that she would not be there to assist me on Monday (she's still technically training me in the Scheduling Department). I've changed some names and numbers (fun fact: the phone number given as hers has been changed, at her request, to "the number for the effing public library [in Topeka, Kansas] that keeps calling me asking, 'Where is the The Green Sheep?'"). I assume this means you're free to give them a call and harass them, if you feel so inclined.
I'll refer to her as (ah jeez...quick, think of a name that's not hers...think think think...why is it so hard to pick a random name??) Kate. This email, by the way, made me laugh, and in fact was responsible for random bursts of giggling throughout that day. Certain lines still make me chuckle. Tell me what you think. And be honest. I can take it.
So, if you’re reading this and I’m not literally standing over your shoulder, it’s because I’m not here. If I know you at all, there’s a slight possibility that you even thought “Whoa, I beat Kate here today!” and you did. I’m babysitting, so you must face Monday alone. I wanted to let you know some things (obvious things of course, but emails like this make me feel important) that may or may not help you a bit today. Also, please know going in, I’m not mocking you with this email, I really am trying to help. Anyway…If you tell me that this is the most boring list of items you've ever read, I will concede that part of my sanity has been lost to my vicious 9-5 corporate job, as well as my fundamental ability to recognize humor.
- Technician One is going to Iowa for us on Friday. On the off chance something in Iowa comes up, try try try to get it that day, but not before 11 am. He’ll get cranky, I promise he will and it isn’t a fun experience.
- If you need to call or text me, I’ll try to answer/reply as quick as I can. My number is 785-364-3532 and I’m not giving it to you out of pity, the only reason I’m not here is because babies in the workplace are generally frowned upon by the administration. (Just like blankies in high school being frowned upon by the administration. Devastating.)
- We still don’t have a tech for the following states in which we happen to do business (in chronological order of admission to the Union): South Carolina, Virginia, North Carolina, Texas and of course Minnesota.
- My top desk drawer smells like Play-Doh and my granola has 10% of one’s DRV of copper. Neither of those things are important, nor is the fact that SC is like, 33 days older than VA. Just some trivia to break it up.
This entire email is composed assuming the fact that you will in fact be here Monday. I hope that you will in fact be here and that this email isn’t a waste of time and totally silly. That’s a fact.
Kate :-)
But let's be honest with each other - item 3 didn't strike you as being a little bit original? And item 4? How can you look me in the eye and tell me that didn't make you chuckle? Or guffaw? Or at the very least, smirk?
19 November 2011
no More mondays, please
Today, Saturday, has disappeared way too fast in relation to how long
(and slow)
(and long)
the preceding week has been. I'm dumbfounded and dismayed at how quickly the minutes are slipping away from me.
It started out really well: I slept in. *deep contented sigh* That felt really good.
Then, with hubby Ranger, went to our public library to take part in their fantastic book sale. (I got a bag of books for $3. Yeah. You saw that right. Three. Dollars. Even a broke twenty-something like me can afford that.)
And I think it was around this point that the day got away from me.
We had to run to the bank to deposit my paycheck, and then we needed (really needed) to go grocery shopping. But why just go grocery shopping, so dull, so drab? Let's try out something new! So we went to a local health food store (the kind with whole organic foods, where the hippies in biodegradable clothing can be found - I love it) and got some of our necessaries, but it was a bit pricier than we had anticipated...
...so we got the rest of our supplies from our usual grocery store. At this point I thought it was maybe noon...maybe noon-thirty...
Sadly, it was 1:30. Which means I completely missed a meeting with the Arts and Facts crew (link can be found on the side bar). Ooops.
They texted me to see where the heck I was and told me they'd just reschedule. Ugh, I felt so bad. They only scheduled for a Saturday in the first place because I'm the one that can't make the usual Wednesday meeting. And I'm the one that said 1:00 would be a great time for the meeting.
Uuuugh. Another life fail.
And now I'm looking at the clock and thinking, "7:00?!? How in the world is it 7:00 already? I just looked at the clock two seconds ago and it was 5:00!"
All the books I was going to read today...all the sketches I was going to finish....I've got two comic strips to draw out, two more puppet drawings to flesh out, and tons more studies to work on...
The sun may be down, but there are still a few more hours left before my body demands that I go to bed for the night. I've got to tear myself away from this computer now if I'm still going to get anything worthwhile done.
P.S. - if you'd like to see the "worthwhile" sketches, studies, and drawings I complete, you can see them on my other blog The Arduous Journey of an Average Artist. :)
(and slow)
(and long)
the preceding week has been. I'm dumbfounded and dismayed at how quickly the minutes are slipping away from me.
It started out really well: I slept in. *deep contented sigh* That felt really good.
Then, with hubby Ranger, went to our public library to take part in their fantastic book sale. (I got a bag of books for $3. Yeah. You saw that right. Three. Dollars. Even a broke twenty-something like me can afford that.)
And I think it was around this point that the day got away from me.
We had to run to the bank to deposit my paycheck, and then we needed (really needed) to go grocery shopping. But why just go grocery shopping, so dull, so drab? Let's try out something new! So we went to a local health food store (the kind with whole organic foods, where the hippies in biodegradable clothing can be found - I love it) and got some of our necessaries, but it was a bit pricier than we had anticipated...
...so we got the rest of our supplies from our usual grocery store. At this point I thought it was maybe noon...maybe noon-thirty...
Sadly, it was 1:30. Which means I completely missed a meeting with the Arts and Facts crew (link can be found on the side bar). Ooops.
They texted me to see where the heck I was and told me they'd just reschedule. Ugh, I felt so bad. They only scheduled for a Saturday in the first place because I'm the one that can't make the usual Wednesday meeting. And I'm the one that said 1:00 would be a great time for the meeting.
Uuuugh. Another life fail.
And now I'm looking at the clock and thinking, "7:00?!? How in the world is it 7:00 already? I just looked at the clock two seconds ago and it was 5:00!"
All the books I was going to read today...all the sketches I was going to finish....I've got two comic strips to draw out, two more puppet drawings to flesh out, and tons more studies to work on...
The sun may be down, but there are still a few more hours left before my body demands that I go to bed for the night. I've got to tear myself away from this computer now if I'm still going to get anything worthwhile done.
P.S. - if you'd like to see the "worthwhile" sketches, studies, and drawings I complete, you can see them on my other blog The Arduous Journey of an Average Artist. :)
11 November 2011
happy 11/11/11 y'all
Tuesday was eternal.
Did anyone else feel that? Yeah? Yeah.
I can't get over how eternal Tuesday was. Wednesday morning finally came and I felt as though I had trudged through a month of Tuesdays to get there. Part of me feels as though Tuesday is still going on.
Good grief, Tuesday. We're almost into the weekend now, would you just end already?
Speaking of Friday (did I mention Friday?), today is 11/11/11. A single digit (1), repeated six times (6), and it won't happen again for a hundred (100) years. Do you like parentheses? (I do!)
I feel like this is a special day. This is a date to cherish, to celebrate, or at least pay some small recognition to. I'm at a loss for an appropriate way to show that recognition...
At work, my manager supplied the department with candy at exactly 11:11 a.m.
(not true: at 11:11 a.m. he had not yet bought the candy; we all got an email at 12:41 p.m. that said "come to my office to get candy celebrating 11/11/11 11:11!!" ...it's the thought that counts.)
A final 11/11/11 11:11 is coming up. Almost three hours away now.
Kinda still want to do something...something poignant, interesting, specific...to mark those sixty seconds before they slip irretrievably into the past.
It has occurred to me that the significance of 11/11/11 11:11 is purely arbitrary, and is not that important in the grand scheme of things. None of my posterity will come to me after perusing their history books to say, "I just realized that you were alive for Nov 11, 2011! That's amazing! What was it like? What did you do??"
On the off-chance that they realize I was alive for a moment of symmetry that they will never see, and just to be prepared for the unlikely event of them asking me about it, I have prepared my response. Ahem:
It was just another Friday. Worked 9-5 in customer service. I spent the evening at home, avoiding chores, listening to podcasts, npr, and watching Netflix.
*shrug*
Not such a terrible way to spend an evening, really. And not a half-bad way to usher in a much-needed weekend, either.
Did anyone else feel that? Yeah? Yeah.
I can't get over how eternal Tuesday was. Wednesday morning finally came and I felt as though I had trudged through a month of Tuesdays to get there. Part of me feels as though Tuesday is still going on.
Good grief, Tuesday. We're almost into the weekend now, would you just end already?
Speaking of Friday (did I mention Friday?), today is 11/11/11. A single digit (1), repeated six times (6), and it won't happen again for a hundred (100) years. Do you like parentheses? (I do!)
I feel like this is a special day. This is a date to cherish, to celebrate, or at least pay some small recognition to. I'm at a loss for an appropriate way to show that recognition...
At work, my manager supplied the department with candy at exactly 11:11 a.m.
(not true: at 11:11 a.m. he had not yet bought the candy; we all got an email at 12:41 p.m. that said "come to my office to get candy celebrating 11/11/11 11:11!!" ...it's the thought that counts.)
A final 11/11/11 11:11 is coming up. Almost three hours away now.
Kinda still want to do something...something poignant, interesting, specific...to mark those sixty seconds before they slip irretrievably into the past.
It has occurred to me that the significance of 11/11/11 11:11 is purely arbitrary, and is not that important in the grand scheme of things. None of my posterity will come to me after perusing their history books to say, "I just realized that you were alive for Nov 11, 2011! That's amazing! What was it like? What did you do??"
On the off-chance that they realize I was alive for a moment of symmetry that they will never see, and just to be prepared for the unlikely event of them asking me about it, I have prepared my response. Ahem:
It was just another Friday. Worked 9-5 in customer service. I spent the evening at home, avoiding chores, listening to podcasts, npr, and watching Netflix.
*shrug*
Not such a terrible way to spend an evening, really. And not a half-bad way to usher in a much-needed weekend, either.
07 November 2011
I Want you To think That I'm A cool person...But let's Be Real
I went to the BlogWorld Expo this last week in Los Angeles, courtesy of my university. I'm part of a student group that stared up a podcast (http://artsandfacts.blogspot.com - you should check it out) and the university sent us to BlogWorld in hopes that we would learn all kinds of ways to improve said podcast.
BlogWorld was a whole new experience for me. I was surrounded by people who were constantly connected to the internet, and to each other, via laptop computers and handheld devices and smart phones on Facebook and Twitter and YouTube and Foursquare and who freaking knows what else. As I have no money for a smart phone or laptop or mobile device of any kind, I felt a little left out. (confession: my phone is a flip phone from three years ago with a broken hinge and my laptop is six years old and won't turn on because it no longer recognizes the power cord, so it lurks under my bed and collects dust) So there I was, walking around the L.A. Convention Center, which had become a central hub of technology gurus overnight, with the fear that if anyone found out how technologically retarded I was (I mean, I don't even have a Twitter account), they would throw me out on the spot and banish me from the interweb forever more.
As long as I was able to keep this dark secret concealed, BlogWorld was pretty awesome. ^__^
The people at BlogWorld had an infectious energy of innovation that made you think that you were unstoppable, that obstacles were irrelevant, and that nothing was impossible. Self-promoted entrepreneurs and independent contractors, writers and researchers and business men/women, all making their visions become realities. I attended nearly a dozen lectures in two days that boosted my internet savvy, showed me how to create a community/network, why that's important, how to get involved in other communities/networks and the amazing things that can result thereby. Did you know, there are people out there making $140k a year just off of their blog? There's a fellow making almost $2k a week selling his ebook online. But the benefits are not just monetary (although that was a main emphasis), there are people who have worked on phenomenal projects with amazing people and met their heroes, and it all started with reaching out to like-minded people on the internet.
I felt enlightened, empowered, and inspired. Together, we can make Arts and Facts the most amazing art history podcast ever! (yeah!) And I can make my personal blog more engaging and attract more followers! (yeah!!) I can harness my anti-social tendencies and get more connected to an online community of friends and artist and creative minds! (yeah!!) I can up my art skillz and make money off said skillz online so I can quit my soulless job of "customer service" which consists of me telling customers that they trapped themselves in a brutal, unforgiving contract that will demand money from them in return for a service that is about as useful as a wooden frying pan. (YEAH!!)
And then I came home. And I remembered. That my life. Sucks.
I have bills, a tiny cluttered dirty apartment, no laptop, no smart phone, no skillz, a full-time job so I'm stinking tired all the time, and it is effing snowing.
Conclusion: BlogWorld, I miss you. Thank you for all you taught me and I promise to utilize those lessons to better my economic situation, get some Apple gear, make Spring in Utah last for seven months of the year (the other five will be dedicated to Autumn), and maybe even solve world hunger. I will strive to keep your ideals of empowerment and equal opportunity in my heart and mind, despite my bland, soul-sucking, cubicle-wall surroundings. And above all, I will forever appreciate the mounds and mounds of free swag.
^__^
BlogWorld was a whole new experience for me. I was surrounded by people who were constantly connected to the internet, and to each other, via laptop computers and handheld devices and smart phones on Facebook and Twitter and YouTube and Foursquare and who freaking knows what else. As I have no money for a smart phone or laptop or mobile device of any kind, I felt a little left out. (confession: my phone is a flip phone from three years ago with a broken hinge and my laptop is six years old and won't turn on because it no longer recognizes the power cord, so it lurks under my bed and collects dust) So there I was, walking around the L.A. Convention Center, which had become a central hub of technology gurus overnight, with the fear that if anyone found out how technologically retarded I was (I mean, I don't even have a Twitter account), they would throw me out on the spot and banish me from the interweb forever more.
As long as I was able to keep this dark secret concealed, BlogWorld was pretty awesome. ^__^
The people at BlogWorld had an infectious energy of innovation that made you think that you were unstoppable, that obstacles were irrelevant, and that nothing was impossible. Self-promoted entrepreneurs and independent contractors, writers and researchers and business men/women, all making their visions become realities. I attended nearly a dozen lectures in two days that boosted my internet savvy, showed me how to create a community/network, why that's important, how to get involved in other communities/networks and the amazing things that can result thereby. Did you know, there are people out there making $140k a year just off of their blog? There's a fellow making almost $2k a week selling his ebook online. But the benefits are not just monetary (although that was a main emphasis), there are people who have worked on phenomenal projects with amazing people and met their heroes, and it all started with reaching out to like-minded people on the internet.
I felt enlightened, empowered, and inspired. Together, we can make Arts and Facts the most amazing art history podcast ever! (yeah!) And I can make my personal blog more engaging and attract more followers! (yeah!!) I can harness my anti-social tendencies and get more connected to an online community of friends and artist and creative minds! (yeah!!) I can up my art skillz and make money off said skillz online so I can quit my soulless job of "customer service" which consists of me telling customers that they trapped themselves in a brutal, unforgiving contract that will demand money from them in return for a service that is about as useful as a wooden frying pan. (YEAH!!)
And then I came home. And I remembered. That my life. Sucks.
I have bills, a tiny cluttered dirty apartment, no laptop, no smart phone, no skillz, a full-time job so I'm stinking tired all the time, and it is effing snowing.
Conclusion: BlogWorld, I miss you. Thank you for all you taught me and I promise to utilize those lessons to better my economic situation, get some Apple gear, make Spring in Utah last for seven months of the year (the other five will be dedicated to Autumn), and maybe even solve world hunger. I will strive to keep your ideals of empowerment and equal opportunity in my heart and mind, despite my bland, soul-sucking, cubicle-wall surroundings. And above all, I will forever appreciate the mounds and mounds of free swag.
^__^
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