where Was I Going with this?

I don't actually remember the last time I wrote on this blog.

So I'm here.

So acknowledge me.

We moved to Arizona last month. I live in a house now. We're renting, but still. A house! My very own house! :) Sure beats a dark, cramped basement. My baby girl has her very own room (a "nursery," if you will. fancy fancy.) and I have a ginormous closet and a back yard and a sunny porch.

I don't think of myself as a superficial person, but it's amazing what personal space and a consistent income can do for one's general disposition.

Plus! The Precious (baby) is learning how to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up in the night. In her own crib. In her own room. Which translates to me getting a full night's sleep for the first time in months.

If you ever need a mood-booster, try sleep deprivation for months at a time, and just before you start hearing voices in your head and getting suicidal, let yourself sleep for 6 straight hours.
You'll feel amazing. Personal experience talking here.

(Whoever came up with the idea of babies that need their mothers to wake up every few hours to feed/check on/soothe them back to sleep was a frickin' idiot. Or just a jerk. Motherhood needs to be completely re-designed. I'll get my committee on it right away.)

I think miss Precious over there has entertained herself as long as she can stand. We're leaving Happy Coos and wandering into Frantic Squeals territory.

Thanks for your acknowledgement.

Until next time.

I'm so tired It physically Hurts

The baby won't fall asleep

Bleeeeeegh....

and it's after midnight and I've used all my newly acquired "mommy tricks" and nothing is working. She just refuses to sleep. Even though it's dark and there's nothing to listen to and there's nothing to see and there's nothing TO DO other than freaking fall asleep.

I keep trying to convince her that it's boring to stay awake at night, but she knows I'm lying.

So she tortures herself (and me) and fights to stay awake. Which means she gets irritable and restless and fussy, which escalates to screaming and wailing and general misery.

I hope this phase ends soon.

Reeeeeally soon.

So I'm ripping music onto my new laptop while I listen to her cry and fuss in the other room. The mechanical swing and I trade shifts in coaxing the baby to sleep. It's usually a better coaxer than I am, truth be told.

Aaaah...hark...I hear silence. The swing has done it's job again. Thank you Fisher Price.