has Anyone Else noticed nathaniel Hawthorn's love affair With commas?

My favorite part, by far, of the workday, is the time of day where Blockhead is on the clock, but clearly has nothing to do. He wanders from the main office to the back room (where i am) and looks at me typing away on the computer, sighs, then wanders back into the main office. And he'll pace like that for about five minutes until he stumbles upon a small idea of some meaningless task he could perform (like re-filling the paperclip jar, straightening the books on the shelf, or checking the paper drawer in the copier to make sure it's full even though no one has made copies since the last time he checked...things like that) and when he finishes he starts pacing again.

It's not long before a member of faculty will walk through the door and Blockhead can attach himself to them: "Hey, how are you doin' today? What are you up to? Where you goin'? You need me to do anythin'??" They don't even have to say anything in reply; he'll just keep talking and follow them back out into the hall and on to whatever destination they may have. And people seem okay with this because, regardless of what I may think of him personally, he's a good worker and an honest employee. I'm glad when he leaves because I really get freaked out by him silently standing behind me, watching, while I correct tests.

Kinda creepy.

Can I tell you something strange that bothers me about Blockhead? Well, besides Blockhead being his obviously blockheaded self. This characteristic that drives me so absurdly insane and grates against the very fibers of my soul seems so insignificantly small that will you probably think me arrogant and snobbish when I tell you.

Are you ready?

He never says "ing." 

Maybe you've noticed whenever I type his dialogue that his present tense verbs always end as such: goin' or doin' or makin' or reverberatin'.  Not that Blockhead has ever used the word "reverberating" in speech or writing ever in his life, I only used it as an example to further elucidate a point which, I hope, you get.

I've heard people slur their "ing"s; I've even dropped the "g" depending on who I'm talking to...but I've never heard it end in such a hard "n" as when Blockhead is speaking. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to spell these words without 'g's on the end.

Once or twice is bearable, but three times in one sentence is more than my ears can take. Sometimes I want to scream in his face:"Ing, ING, ING!! Blockhead, it's spelled i-n-g. Just say ING."

I know what you're thinking. "Grammar snob." I know, I know. I admit it: I am a grammar snob. I feel pangs of regret when I have to send a text without capitalizing the first letter of a new sentence, but sometimes, in the interest of time, it must be done. I will deliberately leave an IMing conversation if the person consistently misspells words or misuses contractions with a made-up excuse about homework, or meeting friends, or my house being on fire. I recently had a handwritten in-class essay turned back to me with a perfect score BUT I had misused "they're" for "their" and I was stunned, horrified and ashamed. (the last time i misused there/their/they're was in the 3rd grade. i'm still in a state of disbelief and complete denial.) Grammar is important to me because it's one of the few things I can actively use against the spread of degeneracy in the human race.

So, if you haven't already learned the difference between it's and its, then you need to put that on your priority list before you devolve back into an ape.

And for the love of I-don't-even-know-what, PLEASE say "ing" when using present progressive tenses!