I used to wear make-up. I remember in high school caring a lot about how I looked. I would panic if I had a break-out (it still happened all the time, freak out or no) and would proceed to desperately cake my face in cream-colored powders and liquids.
I remember thinking mascara was pretty. And eye-liner. And that eye shadow looked natural.
Mascara is still pretty...on other people. Eye-liner is distracting. And eye liner is anything but natural-looking.
I almost wish I could say that I stopped wearing make-up for moral or ethical reasons; that I'm staunchly opposed to the cosmetics industry and I refuse to support them. Or that I'm standing up against the perpetuated belief that women have to look a certain way to be considered "beautiful." That it's for women's rights, or the economy, or politics, or global-warming, or something.
Sadly, no.
One fateful day I had $7 and the choice between gas in my car, food to eat, or a single tube of lipstick that would only match ONE blouse in my closet.
It was a hard choice.
Lipstick did not win.
(in case you were wondering)
And then I worked at a scout camp for a summer with my fiance and realized, 'This man has seen me day in and day out for months with dirt all over my clothes, my hair in a mess, and no make-up on my face, and he still wants to marry me. How about I stop killing myself by obsessing over appearance and just let myself be?'
So now I get to sleep in an extra ten minutes every morning and the money I would have spent on lip-gloss or foundation now gets spent on lovely evenings out with my husband.
Sometimes I wonder if I should go back...but in all honesty, after I'm done looking at my reflection in the morning, I'm too preoccupied with living life to worry about what I look like to other people.
I wish it were more complicated than that. I wish it was because of some higher purpose or moral reason or in support of a cause. But it's just a simple, selfish reason (like everything else in my life). I just don't care enough anymore.
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