My husband took me Bouldering yesterday. It's like Rock Climbing but you don't need any equipment. Just special shoes and a lot more physical strength than I currently possess.
My back and shoulder muscles are nice and sore and my forearms still feel tight. It's a good feeling. What's not a good feeling is my ankle: I fell off the wall at one point (not an unusual occurrence in that room) and landed "wrong." It didn't swell or anything, and I was able to climb a few more times on it without discomfort, as well as walk around for a few hours afterward. But then the swelling hit. And the pain.
So I've been on crutches since then.
Limping around my apartment this morning. I can tell I'm still not thinking clearly (last week left me pretty fuzzy) and I don't physically feel well. It's more than the ankle - I feel raw, tired, and malnourished. Last week was not kind to me.
My life can be summed up in three words: Cleaning versus Homework. It's usually one or the other, rarely can I have both. I always feel like I make the wrong choice, regardless of which I choose. And I'm never able to do enough. Why even bother?
The regret of poor choices, and the guilt of not choosing at all, threaten to overwhelm me. I think I'll go back to bed. Maybe in an hour or two I'll be more equipped to handle life.
Stoo goes, "So Tyler said you guys just rested all weekend." I'm like, "Is that what it's called?" Because when you lie around and "rest" all you're thinking about is what you're NOT doing...
ReplyDeleteNot very restful. But I did accomplish the same amount of homework as I would have if I HAD been resting. So it evens out.
How about we stop defining ourselves but what we are not doing. And not even what we are doing because in my case I lay in my bed like a veal or a sedentary yam. But just think about all the work you guys are producing, even though you are behind. would you do it unless you were forced too? Maybe that is why you need to take a writing class Kenna. it would force you to produce the work that you are capable of producing. Nag, nag, nag. We all need sleep or to do something so intensely amazing that school won't seem that important.
ReplyDeleteLet me know what that is.
I think that last comment warrants its own post. Stay tuned...
ReplyDelete