27 September 2010

ah, The guilt

I've been comparing Blockhead to my brother-in-law.

Important note: I like my brother-in-law. He's odd, quirky, and hard to understand sometimes. But I understand the reason for this, so I can let abnormalities slide. He's a good guy.

Now, back to the comparisons:
  • Never tells a lie. It doesn't even cross their minds to ever tell a lie. It doesn't enter into their scheme of logic to ever tell any kind of falsehood. Honest to a fault.
  • No understanding of personal boundaries. My brother-in-law has worked on this over the years and rarely, if ever, butts into your personal space. No one seems to have pointed this out to Blockhead, though, and he bursts into my bubble all the time.
  • Very little comprehension of humor. Blockhead asked me to explain a joke, a particularly wry joke, and he never did get it. He told me a joke once, a lame and corny joke, and when I didn't laugh he proceeded to explain it to me. Really sad, really painful situation for both of us. Well, mostly just for me.
  • Clear desire to take part in conversations with equally clear misunderstanding of what appropriate conversation topics might be. As much as I would love to expound on this particular point, it'd probably be best if we just left it alone...
  • Unable to quite grasp the finer points of smooth communication with other people. They invariably end up saying something related to the topic, but too off-topic to make any sense in the context of your discussion. Or they'll miss their cue to stop talking, and will chatter on and on with no way of stopping them.
For the longest time I've labored under the belief that Blockhead was nothing more than that: a blockhead. Pure and simple idiot, sent to make my workdays difficult. But after talking about him with my Mother-in-law, I began to see that these similarities are more than just coincidence.

I think Blockhead has Asperger's Syndrome. He clearly hasn't had the chance to learn the skills that my brother-in-law has, so I didn't catch on right away. Looking at it now, I'm sure it's Asperger's.

Not gonna lie: I feel the slightest bit guilty. I've complained about this guy on the internet, to my friends, to my husband, and it turns out it's not even (really) his fault. I can only imagine what his days are like. They probably suck. All of them.

But, if he really does have Asperger's, then that probably doesn't bother him. They're able to shrug these kinds of things off, for the same reason that they can't grasp interpersonal interactions. A gift and a curse in a lot of ways.

Still! This means that he's the "weird guy" all the time! Not just at the office, but in all his classes, even at home! No wonder he has so many problems with his roommates... I don't know why, but I really thought he was just awkward in this one sphere of life. It hadn't occurred to me that he's like this all the time.

Maybe I'll be able to respond to him in a more patient manner from now on. Now that I know the reason behind his strangeness, I'll be able to work with him.

If it goes well, I'll have to change his nickname from Blockhead to something else. My posts about him will have to change from "I'm complaining about this person!" to "So, this is what he did today, and it was weird, but life goes on."

(well, of course I'm going to keep posting about him! just because he has asperger's doesn't mean you don't want to hear all about the awkwardness I go through at work. you live to hear my tales of awkwardness, I just know it!)

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