17 May 2010

perchance Miyazaki Will make Me Feel better

Yesterday was terrible. A certifiable Non-Day. I stayed in bed all day. My body hurt, my mind was restless, my emotions were on edge.

My brain stopped translating sound into words, or laughter, or music...it all just came through as noise. Painful, irritating noise that grated against my consciousness.

My husband found me sitting on the bathroom floor, knees pulled up to my chin, covering my ears. It was the only place that was quiet. I just needed silence. He asked me if I was okay, which I thought was funny because I had just been wondering the same thing.

He suggested we go on a walk. The temperature was perfect. The flowers are in bloom, every breath was fragrant and pleasant. My body felt better, but my mind was still clouded with sadness.

I spent most of yesterday asleep in bed. I knew that it would mean I'd be awake all night, but I couldn't shake the sleepiness. And in a way I looked forward to being awake past midnight, because I knew it would be quiet, dark, and I'd be alone.
Much to my surprise, I slept through the whole night without waking up once.

Why would my body need that much sleep? What's the reason for this sudden depression?

I asked my mom if she ever gets depressed for no reason. She said (and I hope she doesn't mind me sharing this here), "Sure. Sometimes I get depressed if I'm getting sick, or if I'm coming up on my time of the month, and one time the Gulf War started."

So there you have it. I'm either getting sick, starting a menstrual cycle, or World War III is about to start.

Let's all cross our fingers and hope it's the flu.

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