Real Adventures in The kitchen!

The "Easy, Lazy Cookbook for Easy, Lazy People" can now get started!

I made muffins. No lie. And I can prove it:



<-----------See those? I made those. Those are my pride and joy. And those are delicious.


"Those" is all of the sudden a very strange word,





No sifting or alternating or other weirdness, just straight up throw it in a bowl, mix it up, and pop in the oven. Easy. Lazy. Delicious. (ooh! That would be a better title!)





The batter was a little bit thick. Not sure if that's normal for muffins. It was so thick I don't even have a metaphor to describe to you how thick it was. The closest thing I can think of would be like...like...stirring cement while it was hardening, except it never did harden it just stayed really thick and made my arm hurt.

Lame metaphor. I know. I apologize.

Also, a couple of notes of what I would add in The Lazy Easy Cookbook for Lazy Easy People OR Easy. Lazy. Delicious. *ahem*

• If your butter is frozen, let it thaw BEFORE trying to beat it with the eggs and sugar. Blending frozen butter is like having a sparring tournament against a brick wall. Don't do it.
• You will need a wooden spoon and an electric egg beater. That's it. I dirtied two wooden spoons, a fork, a butter knife, two soup spoons, a whisk, and my electric egg beater and I'm just letting you know: it's unnecessary. Two things, that's it.
  
• A little tip: if you keep your blueberries in the freezer, you do not have to wait to the end of the recipe when it says "Add blueberries" to take them out of the freezer. Let them sit on the counter while you prepare, let them defrost a little bit, they'll appreciate it.
• Wear an apron. I know you think you're clean and you won't have a problem but, we're dealing with flour here. Flour is the sneakiest of all ingredients. Without an apron it will find a way onto everything you own, including clothes you haven't worn since last week! You'll be cleaning flour dust out of cupboards and drawers you could swear you've never touched. Apron. You don't have one, GET one.
• Just an FYI: fill the muffin tin cups 3/4 full. I tried it from 1/2 full to clear-to-the-brim full and the best results lie at 3/4 full.
  

I think that's all the dumb stuff I did in this adventure that I wish someone could have warned me about. Oh sure, it seems like obvious stuff (the frozen butter, in particular) but it honestly didn't cross my mind until I was staring it in the face. If I wrote a cookbook, people would be warned.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if this hypothetical cookbook of mine already exists. It should, if it doesn't. By this day and age I'm sure someone would have thought to write a cookbook for novices. If I were more ambitious I would seek this book out.

Instead I'm going to go eat a muffin and read Return of the King.