cynical Mood = Time To write A blog Post

"I made burritios last night."

 

...and then silence.

 

I'm not really sure how I was expected to respond.

 

A co-worker, in what I can only assume was an attempt to encourage some sort of conversation, said these words, out loud, to no one specific or in particular.

 

"I made burritos last night."

 

I held my breath in anticipation for some sort of amusing anecdote concerning the details of making said burritos - cooking stories can be so droll, you know.

Or perhaps she was sharing this information with us because the burritos were made using a special recipe, newly discovered, and she simply had to tell us how scrumptious they were.

 

So I waited.

 

And there was nothing.

 

She let the sentence hang in the air between our cubicles until it disintegrated into the comfortable silence that had preceded it.

 

I didn't sense an expectant pause from her, the kind that might indicate she was giving me a cue to respond; just that simple sentence. Just letting us all know. That she made burritos. Last night.

 

It's hard for me to find the words to convey to you how utterly disinterested I was in her burritos, and perhaps if I was better at feigning interest I would have been able to turn it into a viable and engaging conversation. Sadly, I do not possess this skill in abundance, so all I could do was sit helplessly bored as another co-worker began relating to us what she ate the previous night for dinner (and how she prepared it and how her sister and brother-in-law and their kids liked it and how you make it and blah blah blah...) and I was left sinking deeper and deeper into dysphoria.

 

I didn't learn anything new by listening in on this verbal exchange. I was not amused, entertained, edified, encouraged, intrigued or anything else one might hope to glean from a conversation with another human being.

 

So what was the point? Why would you tell us, randomly, that you made food and ate it last night? Can you come up with a more boring sentence? Can you??

 

I work in a call center. This conversation is just one example of how bored we become. We say dull, meaningless things to each other and then desperately grasp to find a way to drag those dull, meaningless phrases out into conversations that will distract us from the tedium of watching the minutes tick away on our computer monitor clocks. That is the only purpose in speaking to one another: distraction.

 

I want more than pointless conversations filled with empty words. However, it should be noted: I'm in my early 20s, newly married, husband is in school, and I'm working approx 40 hours per week to make ends meet. At this particular stage in life (i.e. young, stubborn, stupid, and broke), I suppose I should just be grateful for any distraction I can get, in whatever form it may come.

 

 

*if you happen to be a co-worker of mine and you're worried that this post may be referring to you: relax. it probably is, but don't feel bad about it. there's no need to take it personally; I feel this way about nearly everyone at one time or another. it comes from a combination of being chronically ill, sleep deprivation, and sitting near people who have mind-numbingly boring conversations.*