parenthood. Argh.

So I haven't written in a while.
Maybe you've noticed...

I went to a mommy's group last week. A baby playdate of sorts. I only knew one person there, the other moms were new to me, so I was a little anxious. Definitely outside of my comfort zone. Then I started watching their babies, two and three weeks younger than mine, already holding their heads up and standing on their mother's laps and reaching for toys.

My sweet baby girl, at 3 1/2 months, isn't doing any of that.
:(
And according to all the literature I can find, I shouldn't even be expecting her to do any of that, yet.

I know each baby develops differently and at their own pace and that you really, really, really shouldn't compare your baby's progress to another's...but I still left the house feeling incompetent as a mother.

I'm still terrified that I'm doing something wrong. Maybe I haven't socialized her enough. I haven't given her tummy-time often enough. I didn't start reading books to her early enough. We don't listen to music often enough. Not. Not. Not. Enough. Enough. Enough.

I was also distraught that she used to sleep 5-6 hours a night (sometimes even 7!) but she mysteriously stopped sometime last week. We're back to 2 hour stretches.

No bueno.
No me gusta.

But then I read a blog by a woman (who also has CFS, so I'm doubly sympathetic for her) with a six month old daughter who still wakes up every 1.5 hours in the night. And that's just insane.

It made me realize that what I have is not so bad. And that I probably just happened to be in a group of babies that are outrageously ahead of the curve. And that my baby girl is healthy and happy and progressing at a fine pace. I shouldn't worry so much.

It's just hard not to, you know?

And that's why I haven't written in a while. I've been too busy worrying and napping and worrying some more. I'm getting over it though. Which means: more blog posts for you!
(you so lucky)