my cream of wheat gives me serious mental issues

So I was making hot cereal this morning, as I am wont to do, enriched farina to be exact (cream of wheat). I haven't made cream of wheat in a while because my husband has no taste for it, so I go long periods without that gentle red and white box even gracing my cupboard.

However, this is a special occasion. I was sick for two weeks (wretched wretched blegh blegh never-do-it-again) and the only thing that sounded like it would not make me puke or want to die was hot cereal. So he bought me a box.

I never look at the measurements, I just eyeball it, but I do like to read the directions occasionally, just to make sure I remember it right. Here they are:

1. Bring water and salt to a boil.

Awesome. I can SO do that. Check.

2. Gradually add enriched farina, stirring constantly with wire wisk until well blended.

Singin' a little song, stirrin' my hot cereal with a wisk (my European style wisk that I love so very very much) Yeah, this is how we do it (say it like you're really cool even though you're in a bathrobe in the kitchen looking at a pot of white and brown mush) Check.

3. Return to a boil -

Uh oh.

"Return"?? We're not supposed to be boiling right now? Scroll up and check steps 1 and 2, right now, check it. Did you see anything about bringing it down from a boil? If I wasn't supposed to be boiling, they really should have said something.
(They don't, by the way, say anything about bringing it down from a boil in step 2, in case you didn't check. I've checked like a paranoid OCD nut)

Oh wait, there's more to that last step, I cut you off too soon:

3. Return to a boil. Reduce heat to low; Wait, what!? Make up your mind, how hot do you want this stu- sorry, I cut you off again, here's the step in its entirety:

3. Return to a boil. Reduce heat to low; simmer uncovered 2 1/2 minutes or until thickened, stirring frequently. Cool slightly.

Is anyone else confused about this step? So I'm supposed to bring it up to a boil but as soon as it does, hurry and reduce it again to low? Really?? Does that even make sense? What if it's already boiling? Is my hot cereal doomed? And when, if at all, am I supposed to stop boiling the first time, anyway? This is ridiculous!!

You should see me, too, when I'm making this stuff. I keep changing the temperature from hot to low to hot to low to hot to medium...to hot to low...it's like a vaudevillian skit. The tongue-in-cheek kind of stuff that would make Charlie Chaplain proud.

The funny thing is, I've bought at least two different brands of this stuff and the directions are the same. You're telling me that no one in the Cream of Wheat industry has tried these directions? 'Cuz I guarantee that if they had tried it, they would have been confused by it.
Maybe no one up there knows how to make hot cereal. They just know that it can be done and it's something like this! (throw directions down in a pile and put them on the box in random order) There you go. Hot Cereal.

It still turned out alright, for the most part. (took longer than it should have...grumble grumble...) Except I feel like a crazy person every time I try to do what the box tells me. And yet I can't stop reading it... Well there you go, maybe I am a crazy person.

I also eat my cream of wheat with toast. "With toast" as in taking the piece of toast, buttered and delicious, in your right hand and putting a spoonful of hot cereal on the toast with your left hand, and then biting into it. Yes. Yummy. That's how my mom ate it (eats it) and that's how I ate it (eat it). Then it occurred to me about a year ago that that's a lot of carbs. It's all carbs, really. Creamed wheat on wheat...dang. Where's the protein in this breakfast? (it's not in the cream of wheat, I checked. 4 grams, that's not even, it's just, no, it doesn't count) Is this balanced? Is this good for me? Will a glass of milk balance this out, do you think, or should I make eggs?

And yet I persist in eating it with toast. And reading (and re-reading) the directions on the box even though I know they make no sense. I must be crazy for still loving this stuff as much as I do.