my Committments

I am committed to Art.

I wasn't always. Not really.

My relationship with Art was wishy-washy, at best. I knew I was Artistic. I wanted to study Art. Make Art. Be surrounded by Art.

...but I wasn't really an artist.

Then I decided I didn't like Art. It was stressful and demanding and time-consuming and I was done. I wanted nothing to do with it. I wanted to do anything BUT Art.
I jumped into music, literature, writing, mathematics... But all of them left a void. I was always unsatisfied. Always searching for something more.

And always, there was Art, hanging at the peripheral begging for attention.

You know those artists who say they don't have a choice? They paint because they have to?

I never understood that. If you don't want to do something, then don't do it. You don't have to do anything. Not really.

I understand now.

It took a long time. Years? Maybe? I don't even know. A lifetime, more likely. A lot of soul-searching and denial and self-doubt.

But it was all worth it because now I know...

...that I am an Artist.

It's what I am. It's more than what I do. It's part of me. It's under my skin and carved into my soul.

Now that I'm done denying what I am, I feel good. And I'm committed.

That's the reason I've been pushing so hard on my facebook page and starting a new blog and getting really active on dA again. It's been hectic. But it feels good. So I do it.

Writing here feels good, too. So here I am, to brush off the dust and remind my little blog that I haven't forgotten it. I've returned to Art like the prodigal son, but there will still be time for writing.

^__^

amen And amen

This has been my life philosophy for a long time and this is the first time I've seen it worded so eloquently and compelling. So here, I share with you, words of a wiser man and possessor of words greater than my own.

"Cherish your doubts, for doubt is the attendant of truth. Doubt is the key to the door of knowledge. It is the servant of discovery. A belief which may not be questioned binds us to error, for there is incompleteness and imperfection in every belief. 

Doubt is the touchstone of truth. It is an acid which eats away the false. Let no one fear for the truth, that doubt may consume it, for doubt is a testing of belief. The truth stands boldly and unafraid. It is not shaken by the testing. 

Truth, if it be truth, arises from each testing, stronger, more secure. Those that would silence doubt are filled with fear; their houses are built on shifting sands. 

But those who fear not doubt, and know its use, are founded on rock. They shall walk in the light of growing knowledge - the work of their hands shall endure. Let us not fear doubt, but let us rejoice in its help. It is to the wise as a staff to the blind. Doubt is the attendant of truth." 

 – Robert Weston