got To Remember to Put titles on these Things

I'm going to go for a walk today. No lie. I'm going to do it. It's way too sunny and beautiful out there for me to not be out in it.
It's way too alive outside for me to stay in this basement all day. (Even if there is Netflix down here...)

But right now the baby is sleeping on my lap, and she's just so adorable with her legs curled up into her chest, that I can't bring myself to move her and put her in the stroller. When she wakes up, we'll go.

It's a wonder how she fits so perfectly on my lap. Human beings start out so small... At one point in time, I must have been this small, too. Difficult to believe.

Ooops, she woke up. And now we're nursing again and i'm literally reduced to typing with one hand so say good-bye to puntuation and capitilization and while we're at it say good-bye to spell-checker too.

when i first started breast-feeding it was great, i thought to myself, this is awesome, so healthy for the baby and this way we'll really bond and all that other good stuff. i'm going to be a good mom and nurse exclusively for at least six months.

and then i realized how often a baby eats.

o.O

like 8 times a day, everyday, for months on end!! it can take up to an hour for one feeding including burping and switching sides...that's 8 hours a day. do the math: 1/3 of my life for the next four months (at least) is going to be spent breast-feeding. one-freaking-third of my life. good grief, how do other mothers get anything done?? especially nursing mothers with other children to take care of. i know it must be possible because humans have been doing it for thousands of years, but that fact does not offer as much reassurance as you might think.

(oh good, done nursing, I can have my left hand back)

So the other two-thirds...aw drat, I finally have both hands to blog with, but it looks like we're in need of a new diaper. Aw crap, and a new onesie.

o.O

Motherhood is such a trip.

Ever get stuck In Your calendar?

September always lets me down. Every year I tell myself that this time, I'm going to slow down and savor the end of summer. This time I'm going to pay attention to September.

Summer was long. So very long. I spent all of it being pregnant and waiting for a baby to come. Counting down months and weeks.

Then the baby came and time sped up again. I can't believe it's been 9 weeks. I don't remember September happening at all, but it must have because we're already halfway through October!

October.

Woah.

O.o

When did Time stop "marching on" and start sprinting?

I can't stand how off-kilter I feel. I'm sure it's just because the baby has caused some serious readjustment to my sleep cycle, but there's got to be a way for me to get a grip. Center myself. Get grounded. Meditate. Open some chakras. Take a bubble bath. Or something.

(I meant the chakra thing as a joke, btw. But I might be serious. I want to be joking. ...I think. Or do I?)

I don't seem like myself at all today. Weird week. Weird weekend. Weird Saturday.

I'm going to go stare at a wall, see if I can find myself. I think I'll find Me somewhere in the first week of September. I've got to get back there and tell Me to snap out of it. Enough dilly-dallying around, already! We've got stuff to do! A life to lead!

So let's get on with it.